Monday, December 31, 2012

There is One Difference

A man died in a violent car accident and found himself standing in front of the Pearly Gates.   Before him stood St. Peter reading from The Book of Deeds.   When St. Peter finished his reading, he closed the book, looked at the man and said, "Your life has not been the best, yet on the other hand, it was by no means the worstWhere would you prefer to spend your eternity - Heaven or Hell?"

"You mean we have a choice?" asked the man.
"Not always, but in your case since your deeds are right on the border, I will make an exception", St. Peter replied.

The man thought silently then asked, "Could I see both Heaven and Hell before I choose?"  St. Peter thought that was an excellent idea and agreed.   He led the man down a hallway that ended with two doors - one was labeled Hell, the other labeled Heaven.   St. Peter pointed to the door labeled Hell and said, "Feel free to go on in."

The man pushed on the door and immediately heard beautiful music playing.  When he entered Hell, he saw a huge banquet hall filled with thousands of long wooden tables.  People wearing beautiful silk robes were seated at the tables.

On each table were large baskets full of fresh fruit and platters made of gold piled high with delicious foods from around the world.   As he walked through Hell, he noticed something odd.   Every person seated at the tables had large wooden knives and forks strapped to their forearms.   The knives and forks were at least three feet long, making it impossible for anyone to eat the food that was placed before them.

When he left Hell, St. Peter pointed to the door labeled Heaven.   As the man pushed open Heaven's door, he once again heard beautiful music.   Upon entering Heaven, he again saw a large banquet hall full of long wooden tables. Again all the people, exquisitely dressed, were sitting at the tables.   On each table again were baskets of fruit and platters of fine foods.  Finally, he noticed that all the people in Heaven also had large three foot wooden knives and forks strapped to their forearms.

Upon stepping back in the hallway, St. Peter asked, "Well, you have seen them both.  Are you ready to make your decision?" 
"Well," said the man, "There really doesn't seem to be that much difference between the two; however, I did notice one odd thing."

"What was that?" inquired St. Peter.
"Well, the people in Hell all look sad; their bodies are gaunt and frail as if they were all starving. Yet the people in Heaven are laughing and smiling and all look happy, well nourished and healthy. How could that be, St. Peter?  Everything appears to be equal?"

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Enthusiasm vs. Experience

One day a huge US Air Force cargo plane was lumbering across the sky over the Pacific Ocean.  It was on its way to a remote Air Force Base in the Philippines.  Out of nowhere came a small jet aircraft streaking across the sky; the young jet jockey wanted to show off his flying skills for his cargo hauling colleagues.

The young pilot flew his smaller craft alongside the bulky transport, came on the radio and said to the transport pilot, “Watch this!”  Immediately the jet pilot went into a steep climb soaring up several thousand feet.  He then nosed his plane down and did a series of spectacular barrel rolls.  After leveling off in front of the cargo plane, he ignited his afterburners and shot across the horizon creating a loud sonic boom.  Finally he returned alongside the transport and asked, “Well what did you think of that?”

The older cargo pilot said, “Very impressive.”
“Well old man, show me what you can do with that garbage bucket you are flying.” 
“Okay watch this,” said the cargo pilot!  The jet jockey maintained his air speed alongside the cargo plane and waited.  For five minutes, the cargo plane rambled along.  Then the pilot came on the air and said, “Well son, what did you think of that?”

Puzzled, the young jet jockey asked, “What the heck did you do?”
The seasoned cargo pilot said, “Well, let’s see.  First, I took off my seat harness.  I then stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the plane, said hi to all the crew members, picked up an updated weather forecast, went to the restroom, washed my face, combed my hair, poured a cup of coffee and picked up a cinnamon roll.  I am now seated back behind the controls enjoying a nice cup of coffee and a delicious roll.”

The moral to this story – When one is young and inexperienced, speed and flash are the preferred methods to get a job done.  However, when one matures and acquires wisdom, comfort and dullness are generally the best way to perform most jobs.